Posted by: Sk | February 15, 2009

Chapter 11: Maya

Today was a horribly happy day. I’ve been out for the first time in three weeks and bought a coke. The door is open between 8 and 9 at morning and between 3 and 4 the afternoon. It’s really cold outside and the courtyard is empty. Just one basketball basket in the depth, but I don’t know where the ball is. There are not many things in the shop and I don’t need tooth paste yet. The guy I had seen some days before wasn’t there, but that’s probably because I was so eager to get out that I left in the morning and he seems to be there just the afternoon.

I have some distraction freshly arriving on top, since yesterday. Maya arrived in the morning, I mean, she was there when I arrived and I said: “What are you doing here?” And she said, moving her shoulders: “Things.” She was downstairs, she said, in the isolation cells and I started laughing and said, don’t say it is you who wrote the ‘Coffee is miserable’ with lipstick on the wall. Against all my expectations it was true and I asked “Where did you get the lipstick from?” As myself without watch nor keys, without glasses nor belt, could hardly imagine some lipstick would be allowed in the whereabouts. “From the guy in the shop.” She finally said, “cost me 200 shekels.”

That was about all our conversation yesterday, although she asked with suspicion whether ‘the other was not there’ and I said, no, I hadn’t seen anyone for the last weaks, which seemed to cause some relief in her, whose nature was difficult to determine.

In fact she solved some horrible problem I hadn’t been wanting to think about, which were some possible side effects of my agressive strategy in the begining, and this was the possibility Sask would get fed up with me and simply stating that, if ever, my only crime in Israel was an infringement of immigration laws, and that this being worth a 500 shekels fine (she had, in my thoughts, already augmented to 2.300 in order to cover the prison expenses) she’d say: Pay the fine and leave. At that moment, while considering such a frightful possibility I had calculated that I would have to refuse the payment, simply because I hadn’t a penny – which is true, on the other hand – even if to Sask’s mind, most probably, I look as if I had millions in my pockets just because I don’t look as if I were begging for mercy all day, which seems to be the common attitude – I derive from Maya’s – but which I haven’t had time to learn yet. Reason why she’d put the prison expenses on the fine and even if I considered the possibility fines for transgressions of immigration laws would not even be considered in such new country involved for eternal years in war situations, it seemed to me dubious whether my strategy of heavily menacing with a civil trial for abuse in the application of laws would avoid hers contacting my father who, unluckily, would not understand the depth of my lucubrations and certainly pay at once, simply because he’s like that and doesn’t like to think a part of his, which he insists being inside of his children, may be imprisoned somewhere and even less in Israel. It’s a question of image. With such premises I would certainly be kindly accompanied to the airport at my expenses and this would make my trial impossible anyhow. For sure.

This is why I didn’t want to think of it, simply because the chances to solve the question were little and in fact, you must be wanting to believe in some angel getting you out of such a dead end. Here thus my angel: Maya. I may guess why she’s here and this is of unbearable help. I must have still one of her invitations in one of my cd’s and if this is the reason why she’s here, I get the clearest idea you can imagine of what Sask may understand as a national danger. It’s obvious. And even that I should have thought of before, but what, there are so many concepts whose nature has disappeared since 1994. That’s the text.

THE BIG HUG

 

The Lovers of Jerusalem invite YOU, that means US to

 

Surround and Embrace our Old City

Of Jerusalem

with personal blessings, shared good wishes and respect.

 

Jerusalem is the heart of the world. After 40 years of living together, we wish to put aside our differences and disputes and express our love to the holy city and to our human family.

 

Monday, May 21, 2007

(during a time of many local celebrations)

 

We shall hold hands around the ancient walls of Jerusalem.

As thousands of hands and hearts join together in love and joy,

we open the possibility of manifesting our highest dreams.

 

 

 

We, who love Jerusalem, come from all the various religious and ethnic communities of Israel, Palestine and the whole world. We will endeavor to respect one another and simply enjoy being together. (Participants who prefer not to hold hands with members of the opposite sex will be respected.)

 

 

For more important information:

And innocently she writes her name and telephone number along with her boyfriend’s name and telephone number – which, from a certain point of view should already be some sign of innocence. But that’s it, you see, mass demonstrations, excessive – she would say – hypocritical world loving moods as an excuse to create links to palestinian quarters and bomb up security measures consisting in the sharp separation of quarters in order not to allow possible terrorists may find weak points inside of the social body that may become bridges in the organization of attacks. Some furious student who hasn’t passed examinations, for example. Or some husband who has just be condamned to pay 7000 shekels a month for his wife he’s divorcing from. You have always to be careful with those things.

Although Sask has certainly not driven theory that far so as to consider the possible subjective reasons possibly leading to such disastruous consequences, she must certainly think meetings suspicious. Things that occupy space, that imply people, that necessarily move money. Even more so if Maya, who I would certainly accuse of such a thing, has forgotten, in complete innocence and unawareness of legislation, to ask for the proper permission for such a meeting, permission which is necessary not only in places where the distinction of peace and war is as amphibious as my prison.

Not that I would say Maya is innocent, in the very depth. But the reasons why Maya is not innocent to my eyes are not necessarily those Sask would consider. Considering though very hypothetically things this way it becomes quickly obvious that I must be innocent to Sask’s eyes – although I would pay with my life in Germany or France, certainly – I see it better now that this help has coincidentally arrived from heaven’s realms. That’s why I prefer soldiers after all, they’re so pragmatic. They wouldn’t consider the danger of intellectual wickedness, not for any other reason, but because they would not admit they don’t understand the contents and thus, categorally, would definitely refuse the importance of such a fact. So what. No groupment, no contact, no communication, no money. Where the danger? That’s a soldier’s mind as they haven’t to deal with 68 revolution organizing intellectual. If it were them, they’d put into prison whole tons of those in university coffee sipping individuals undermining the soldier’s morals through invitations to peace making demonstrations (that do always end up in orgies – Baruwth argued in one of my stories), but certainly not someone who – that was the only story he understood – is heavily accusing a psychiatry gourou of having driven mad a soldier without punishment. There, something he’d really agree with in the depth, although he wouldn’t say too loudly. Just in case.

Now, even Baruwth can’t know that I met Maya in Cuenca, Ecuador, while she was travelling through South America, and this for two days only or perhaps three, and that the whole real link is that she sent a whole amount of pictures of the rest of her journey I enjoyed very much having a look at. No. It’s enough to talk about lipsticks as if a new conspiracy was going on in order to be suspected at once of being the head organizer of Maya’s meetings, exactly because she wrote a name on it. Head organizers never do. She’s israeli on top, which is to say, she’ll find more proper ground for sympathy and I’m a foreigner – who is always suspicious. It should work.

It may cause some inner division. I’m sure Sask is more suspicious than Baruwth, it’s simple psychology. For a man a woman is always less dangerous, a woman may know how dangerous she may be herself. A sympathy coming from Baruwth will make Sask necessarily angry. It’s like that.

I assure myself three more months without having to go on civil trial. So. That’s enough for today. I’ve promissed Maya we would be playing cards. I didn’t phone today, although I could. It’s just not to look too much interested. Tomorrow, perhaps. I don’t know what I’m going to feed Sask with, today. Probably some considerations on the freedom of speech and general frames. It’s that finally. Perhaps I don’t care very much about the fact whether she goes through all that stuff. I just have to put some order into my ideas.

Ah! I took a wonderful decision last night. I’m not going to save the world, definitely. But I have to get rid of some worries that had arosen due probably to my very peculiar psychological character and which were blinding me towards any other reality. I can’t solve it anyhow. It’s not that bad finally to have a few weaks to think about things. Even in a white prison.

Texts left in the computer

https://paramana.wordpress.com/category/11-fia-ch-11/

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