Posted by: Sk | February 19, 2009

3 Design, image and general strategies

That day Inès de la Fressange felt the earth open in front of her feet. A phone call from the publicity department alerted her of the fact that: “a hooligan had destroyed her image campaign.”What? Now, it’s over. She simply sat down and thought that it would be difficult to change her life’s path, as she didn’t know anything but really anything else but putting raw matters into elegant environments. I don’t even know how to cook, she observed, while looking into the emptiness of the huge walls surrounding the enormous space. She didn’t even feel tempted to light a cigarette and the windows were very far away.That’s the problem of being too exclusive, I thought, as nobody knows who you are, you have no means of protecting yourself properly. Now, would you really leave such a nice lady in the kitchens of a French Burger King?Having saved Mr. Paredes of 10 years in Guantanamo, Panama Hats of the definite association to international terrorism and Miss Universe of their future hatless appearance around the world, some kind of deep bad consciousness invaded my mind, thinking of the sure damage I’d have caused with my aggressive politics.Immediately thus I decided to push things to the extremes of extravagancy. There were of course chances she wouldn’t accept my kind proposal, but I knew on the other hand, that independently of that, whole lots of people would agree with my generous offer and would consequently repair my jump into void by compensating the virtual loss through generous acquisitions. Already the sultan of Bahrain had shown some slight and distant interest and even the Rockefeller Centre in the US seemed to want to recognize certain lines of communication among the sweet flow of silks and merino wools. A Russian very highly ranked observer of the international situation, remarked that ‘a Panama Hat wouldn’t be that bad either in the context’ and even proposed to get a whole series of them for a good price.A cute jeweler whose commercial strategy consisting in searching friends in Hi5 by selling top design in silver of 9.75 had revolved the jewelry world, even proposed to repair the damage by offering an exclusive bracelet design called ‘hooligan on leather’and even an Australian surfer contributed to the whole by presenting the sunrise silver designboth meaning that even chaos had its charm and thus hoping to contribute effectively to the restoration of the international image of the before mentioned.In fact, the real problem revealed by the whole affair was the inefficacy of the publicity departments to deal with propping out of extreme urgency situations.Not only is it very easy to make up a story that gives the whole an exquisite aura that fascinates half the world, it’ll make prices get up very quickly as people who know about related situations won’t mind to pay thousands in order to get dressed by such a story.Thus, here the definite truth: a young pretentious photographer in Fressange’s surroundings captured for a while the attention of the lady by excessively abusing of her lack of technological photographic knowledge. Selling thus a simple ‘invert’ function in Paint (he didn’t even have Adobe Photoshop) for a technological miracle, he convinced her of giving her brand a golden metallic aura out of second class models fished from the surroundings of les Halles. It is true that she paid 6.000 usd for the series not aware of the fact that little pretentious like that wouldn’t mind profit of exclusivity in order to destroy a name. In the mean time, pretending ‘je ne sais quoi’ he even had access to the personal computer of the designer and stole the brand’s logo among other personal pictures.

He wanted to push things so far so as to think his brilliant idea merited more … affective and effective attention, which, refused, woke up the vilest thoughts in the man, who started selling exclusive picture everywhere for thousands and thousands, he finally lost one day in the Monaco Casino he had been dreaming of his whole life.One day, my personal guard, who doesn’t guard bodies but names and logos, and is exclusively charged with researches in internet putting ‘pictures …’ in order to know how many again had escaped affective life’s disorders, came up with dozens and dozens of Fressange pictures, and it being of my responsibility to drive attention immediately on such a ‘fuite’ I profited of the catastrophic surrounding situation in order to … warn.‘That’s all lies,’ Natasha said, ‘Fressange has a commercial agreement with all these people and is testing a new strategy. And the whole rest is just a blunt and cheap publicity effect.’ And after a while: “well, to think to involve Mr. Paredes to international terrorism was perhaps not an accident nor intended, but … sure! It was a good excuse for the rest to profit in order to denounce the critical situation.”Not bad as strategy, Inès de la Fressange thought, and fired the former publicity responsible for ‘divulgating lies causing general damage to her image by associating an international Panama hat seller to a hooligan branch newly born in Cuenca, Ecuador’.Happily, the whole situation took a better turn. An Argentinean spy who was ravaging the before mentioned town dressed in cloths of art called Susana Foscarini, trying to find out who the damn had stolen Munch’s ‘le cri’ and had alerted the CIA as suspecting she had fallen accidentally into an extreme right movement with communist’s cover, managed to get the phone number of Inès de la Fressange in order to tell her, that her new ‘publicity was really extraordinary’, which saved Inès de la Fressange from a definite fall into the pit.French critical journalists linked to ‘Libération’ couldn’t help remarking: “Elle américanise, maintenant.” (She Americanizes, now) Attack though that attracted the protective wings of ‘Le Figaro’ who dedicated a whole page to … a wholly invented story!


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