Posted by: Sk | February 21, 2009

Chapter 20: The graal

And everything came up again, and almost it is as if my carefully built up world with windows and walls and schedules had disappeared again – but I must confront myself to some past and thus, to some present, otherwise I’ll never manage to live a peaceful life, after, if I ever manage to buy up an ‘after’.  And although I don’t believe that my point of view will ever be understood – the more I go through the whole, the more I finish by asking myself in which conceptual world I may have been living allowing I may stubbornly follow some plan and project, which, being in the depth nothing but the desperate attempt to give a name to that which had no name, a pain (did I not make up one single song in Greek, saying : Exo enan pono stin psixi, kai den ksero pos tha bgei / exo enan pono stin psixi kai den ksero pios tha to pei – I have a pain in my soul, and I don’t know how it will leave / I have a pain in my soul and I don’t know who’ll say it), had finished by generating, to my complete unawareness, at the beginning, such a general situation.

With some distances I may make the difference between two different things: one fact: that I have all reasons to complain and it is me constantly who is accused. For the first I’m never listened to and for the second, I’m never ask to respond for. I’m living in a situation which very much ressembles the walking on sharp edges, frozen and cutting and some sharp abysses to both sides. Whatever I do, it’s misunderstood, whatever I’m supposed to have done, is always transmitted through to gossip ressembling channels, distroying all possibility of survival. And a second fact: from an objective point of view, I’m nothing but a professional who’s doing his job inside of legally given frames. I need proves for demonstration, I need to locate problems I have to give an answer to, I’m in the ethic obligation to warn somehow of the consequences of a certain number of things if I can be sure of the fact it were so. Personally I’m not interested neither in revolutions nor in revolts, not even excessively in changes in legislation, it is factually none of my concern. To my understanding it is enough with changing the moral disposition in order to be able to live in the most horrible environments. I don’t interfere in foreign affairs, not even from far. Was I not asked by an iranian woman, what I thought of the fact of being obliged to wear veils, she thought so oppressing, and I said: Veils can be very beautiful, to. To say, that my general disposition tends to maintain laws, as they are, wherever they are, because it’s not my affair to change them. You have to live with them, I tend to think, better take it the best way possible.

But precisely, I remarked after a long while, not all the people see things this way. Because I’m working at distortion of angles of vision of reality that may imply the understanding of guilts which may have consequences. To say: I proof that Serbia is innocent of all charges through some ancestral method which works only and only if there’s innocence in soul. Even if you may condition public opinion for a while and even for a long while, the fact is there, in the depth of the general unconscious, waiting for time to pass and it will show that Serbia was right and the others wrong. It implies further that accusations which had become the 100% of the european public opinion, are wrong. It means that public opinion is mislead. It implies that political intentionality is using the distortion of facts for some more or less obscure goal – it may imply dictatorial situations in Europe. It has become political, against my will, against all intentionality, against all intention. Because ‘they’, the ‘others’, the obscure opposition I don’t deal with because I don’t get into politics, is seeing consequences I do not even think about because it should not affect me. And they are trying to make me disappear, to distroy my image, to let me die of hunger and lonelyness in order for me not to stay there saying without a word, the evidence: turn the accusations against Serbia against yourselves, and you’ll certainly hit the point. There is a moment when you have to become political, were in oblique ways, because I don’t like politics, were it just using weapons of justice saying: there is justice none, there where you’re sitting around and this means, I don’t have to submit to the state. If you want to go back to the stone age, you hit me I hit you, let’s go back, I don’t mind, but don’t come after with police forces pretending to trials, justice, laws and freedom. In 2002 I said to myself that the best thing to do in such situation was to convert myself to judaism, just because you could still pay the eye with the eye and the hand with the hand. If it’s what you want … Pardon does only come from heavens.

Because precisely. Looking back, my only intervention that may have been understood politically, is my favouring of Serbia during the Kosovo war. I even wrote a long article on the subject in a provincial newspaper. And even sent whole lots of protestations concerning the lack of freedom of speech on the subject to french newspapers. It’s true. Completely. And not only for personal reasons (you never put your hand on someone who has given you hospitality – that’s law and sacred), it’s that it was obviouly a rape of international law. It was accusing without trial, putting the monster before he had been judged, it is the absurd justification of war and death through the pretension to the respect of human rights. It’s what they had done to me, in the banque affair, and what, if you don’t share a political position, you may share the disgust towards the same affront.

You stay there and say, if you ever change battle fields, it’s done for you, too. You are permitting arbitrary accusation be presented as ultimate justice justifying arbitrary aggression. No, Sir, I don’t want this to happen to myself, and what happens on larger scales will necessarily have consequences on personal affairs. Can you say, it may be allowed to hit someone because he says he’s a racist? Does the very fact of maintaing the absurd of such a thing make of you a racist? It’s just a point of law. And it had happened, and I saw it with my own eyes. And it went on happening.

It’s a problem, a deep, a general, most disturbing problem. Because it has implications. If things are such, may not the very angle of distortion you’re using in order to lead national affairs have implications on science, on education, on health? If you see unjustice when there is respect of law, will you not see an illness there were the person is healthy? Will you not think a chemistry good when it is distroying the environments? Will it not promote liers, people who copy, who delate and not sound rational people with were it a little common sense? Will it not lead to a financial breakdown because value is transferred from the valuable to the fake? It’s all the same problem, and it is gravest.

As a philosopher I’m no supposed to intervene on the social scene. It’s not my job, it’s not what I’m dealing with. I know that fundamental structures do alter behaviour. I have to locate the problem and try giving a solution to it in concept. If I manage to make myself understood, changes are slowly introduced without anyone even being aware of it. Which structures are disturbing the apprehension of reality to the point of producing such monstruous side effects? How are they spread? What do they affect? How can you generalize a solution without disturbing a whole? That’s my business. Until it becomes personal.

Are you aggressing me? Are you insulting me? Are you not assuring my rights as citizen? Ok. As an individual, as a person with some national belonging I may pretend to a certain number of things, which, if not assured, allow that at least I say what is happening. If this reminds many others of the fact that the same has happened to them, it just proves that the situation is worse than I could have ever imagined.

In fact, the problem is simple. Shattered patterns of understanding due to the one or the other provoke some dysfunction in the apprehension of reality. In different patterns, this affects populations that may be located in Germany and in France. The incapability of dealing with reality does provoke an alliance of both. Worse, much worse: German patterns are progressively introduced in dogmatic teaching of the Catholic Church as they seem to assure some continuation after death. Yes, in hell, it’s obvious, but it looks so powerful. It becomes impossible to simply ‘die’, because the formal patterns do not allow the recognition of ’signs’ allowing the ‘natural’ detachment of soul from body. What’s that? Exactly the distortion that appears in justice. You want to make it political? Ok. Let’s make it religious. It’s the same.

You have finally simply no other choice but to subjectively annihilate the influence of the Catholic Church. See, Germany, an illness is an illness of whatever nature, and perhaps it may be healed. But you don’t make of it a dogmatic truth. It may be the way for you to get out of your shit if you, for once in you damend history, accept a fact as a fact and stop wanting to make of it some universal evidence in Church, on top.

Put it bluntly: the ‘blood of the bat’ which is most certainly the cause of all, produces alterations in the perception of light. The bat is a parricide structure as it omits the active, and holds for only the passive (filioque). It makes you see what others can’t see – the hypnacos – a bacteria that provokes the maintaining of the fundamental structures of parricide patterns in genetical continuation. If this has happened two thousand years ago, it is still there, along with the perception of light frequencies on lower realms of the unconscious. I saw it – inside of these patterns, with consciousness at this level, you see shining bright where others don’t see anything. The fact that there are obvious disturbances in the attraction of cosmic light frequencies makes that the fundamental structure perceiving this light, is absorbing these frequencies which produces an alteration in the nervous system, provoking the materialization of ‘rottenness’ as some kind of ‘image’ of the interaction of soul with lower realms. It drives you mad, it makes you loose control, it leads to a definite painful mass death, irrevocably.

This is the naked, cruel and crude truth.

I have more than proofs, which are not scientific (verified) but do allow building scientific proofs up. Example: I had a horn, a little lamb’s horn. This horn had some marks, which is normal, like very small cuts inside. Periodically I saw these lines ’shining’, as if some deep bright light was getting out of it. Worse. Attaching myself to this a evidence, I remark that if I stay in these patterns of understanding you may observe a reversion in time. August: someone says something, which is out of context, and which I don’t understand. I stay puzzled and keep the fact in my memory. Next year, august: I ask a question, whose answer has been given … a year before. It’s not but after that I establish the link between both. The bat’s blood has altered the structures of causality and they are fixed in hypnaco and hidden away in morphine.

I’ve more. The very fact that I’ve found three of those hypnacos that are usually more than invisible, for example. What do you do? I can’t claim that I’m maintaining a scientific truth, because it is not true. I can claim I’ve proofs enough for myself, that’s all. I’m ordering my reality inside of this evidence: there are 130.000.000 people who may die and they are themselves putting pressure for my sayings not to be taken seriously. It’s like that, and you know it – the very illness is distorting reality, necessarily my sayings are aggressive. What do you do? You go abroad and search for people who may not be affected by it. You give enough information in order to possibly move others to do something. You keep clearest positions that are nothing but solutions to a heaviest problem.

Reinforcement of soul. The only way out. Means? Reinforcement of women. It’s not that you attack men, it’s that men are transmitting the logical patterns that are producing the illness. You have to attack men, not as a universal position, but as a remedy to something that has gone out of control. You have to attack the Church because it has made universal not a truth but an illness. It’s this or nothing and I know it. First: you isolate the illness. Quarantaine. Then, you may find a solution. Eventually, perhaps. But even if you don’t have it, you will not leave ethically such an illness be spread all over.

And you speak English as only possible bridge to a hypothetical solution. Why? German were evangelized mostly by Irish people. Irish people speak in symbols and fairy tales. Their structures find way out to English in understanding. In fact, the ‘what is not said in Nibelungen’ is logically given words in English through Irish metaphore. Madness deriving of King Arthur’s Graal is much more interesting than a scientific exposure. The German ’structure’ has attached itself to the English language somewhere, somehow, as consequence of the transmission of the ‘holy’ or ’sacred’ and will be producing elements, hints, stories all over history. Only the English has patterns of interaction that may allow the localization of the problem and thus, of a possible solution.

To give an image of what is ‘hypnacos’ I followed the scam and frauds affair as follows. The ‘innocence’ of the presentation is the ‘looking innocent’ deriving of morphine. What is hidden behind is wicked and criminal. It does distroy innocence, too. It affects banks, financial interactions, economical organizations, social relationships. I don’t care about those, I just need to show something in order for it to become understandable, intelligible, seizable. But it is obvious that if the rest of the social body does not annihilate this kind of behaviour, the structures reproducing the illness are going to be spread all over, and it is no joke.

In fact, you may need thousands of years in order to get behind something, but you get there. It’s obvious that ‘Nibelungen’ does clearly show patterns where the private life (marriage, celebration) is used and misused for political goals in some kind of fused or even reverted pattern, confusing the one with the other. You get married because you love not because it seems to you that you may get up some social steps if you get this or the other woman. You invite someone in order to celebrate something, not in order to take some revenge for something. If you mean (because these things exist, but they’re wicked) that you can make of it a normal pattern of behaviour you’re distroying natural patterns of behaviour and logically the determining identification of reality. What you say is nothing. And you can’t pretend it were on top, truth, universal, science or even … religion.

What do you prefer? I shut up? I may. Do you want to die? I don’t care.

I’d say I forget about it all. I concentrate on my seduction strategy here. Because I know if I think about it, I’ll try doing something again. Find some image. Put elements together. In fact it is true that I had solved my personal problem a long time ago, by just cracking kantian definitions. That was 1992/3. I could make synthesis in essence after and even pretend to some wisdom deriving of the integration of foreign elements, mostly of the ancient testament which I used as reference. I could have cared about myself after, and I thought it was perhaps a task to generalize a solution.

Texts left in the computer


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